Still striving...

When will I learn to rest? Does it come with maturity in the Lord? Maybe not because God says that we are to come to Him with a childlike faith. A child completely trusts and rests in her parent's care. She never stresses over her needs or her circumstances. REST has been my theme for the past week or so. (or should I say....for most of my Christian walk) I find myself striving, trying to manipulate my circumstances and always looking to the future instead of resting in my Father's will. Knowing that it's not about the destination but about the journey and experiencing His sufficiency moment by moment.

So, as you know God loves to teach me Truth through Lily....this is the latest -
We haven't reached a point where Lily can lie down in her bed and go to sleep by herself. I still have to lie down with her until she goes to sleep (at night and for nap time). I was at work a few days ago and I wanted her to "hurry" and go to sleep b/c I had ALOT to do during nap time. And as I lay there I thought "how much time do I spend trying to get her to rest???" The Lord spoke to my heart..."how much time do I spend trying to get you to rest in Me???" Oh Lord. Help me. I know You are perfect and Your plans for me are good. Why can't I rest knowing that You are in control of my life and will lead me and sustain me in all seasons of life.

There's a verse that I have on my bathroom mirror that I read regularly but that I don't obey as often. Deut 20:3-4 “When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. When you are approaching the battle, the priest shall come near and speak to the people. He shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’
Ps. 37:7 "rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him"
the word "rest" in the original language means to be silent, still and quiet, cause to die - That really struck me "to cause to die" !! To me it means that I need to die to myself and surrender to Him. Whatever is to come let Him live His life through me. Die to me and REST in Him.